Baby Names
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: "What names do you want?" "Mmmm…Falcon." "No." "Robin." "No." "Hawk." "No." "Eag-" "I swear to God, Fang, if you say one more bird name-" "Cardinal." "…I think I want a divorce." "I think I want a DNA test." - Post-Nevermore Oneshot.


Baby Names

"I like the name Jameson."

Fang just shook his head at me. "No."

"What about the name Kyle?"

"No."

"Fine, Fang. What names do you want?"

"Mmmm…Falcon."

I blinked. "No."

"Robin."

"No."

"Hawk."

"You-"

"Eag-"

"I swear to God, Fang, if you say one more bird name-"

"Cardinal."

"…I think I want a divorce."

"I think I want a DNA test."

Sighing, I laid back on the ground, Fang moving to do so also. We were in our tent, both trying to finalize our decisions on names. Too bad Fang's an idiot.

"You're about to not get a vote," I warned.

"Gotta get a vote if it's a boy. Duh. Man's rights and all that."

I stroked the arm he had strewn across my stomach. I was due any day now and we still hadn't gotten it all figured out. I was more worried about keeping the baby alive on the island than I was its name, honestly.

"I like Ari for a boy."

Fang turned his head to kiss mine. "I know what he meant to you, but no."

I sighed. "Then let's talk about girl names."

"I'm guess Lissa is out."

"Huh?"

He just smiled. "Don't play like you don't remember. Your first heartbreak, realizing how alone you are without me."

"Shut up."

"I just hope he comes out okay," Fang told me for about the millionth time since we found out I was pregnant. "You know?"

"Or she," I corrected."

"I don't see me raising a daughter."

"I don't see you raising anything."

"Touché."

"Besides, there's a good chance we'll have a girl."

"I know. And I won't be sad or anything. I just don't know what I'd do with one."

"Gee, try loving it. I think that'll work."

"Max, you know what I mean."

"No, I don't."

"Boys, you can, you know, play with them. Roughhouse and stuff. Girls though, you gotta be all careful with them and stuff. I couldn't trust the Flock to watch her. They might hurt her. A boy though, yeah, sure. Let Ig and Gazzy watch him. Fine. Whatever. Not a girl though. You gotta look after that. She could get hurt."

"You know, a baby, boy or girl, it will be very delicate."

"I know."

"Besides," I said, shifting on the bed of blankets we had in our hut. "A girl can be as playful as a boy."

Fang groaned. "I don't want a daughter like you."

"Excuse me?"

"I just mean that if I had a daughter, I would want her to be a girl. Not a guy in a girl's body. I'd want to be able to have a daughter." Fang smiled at me. "I'd want to, you know, baby her or whatever. Take care of her. I wouldn't want her constantly challenging me on everything, trying to prove herself. I want to, like, spoil her."

"On an island?" I just stared at him. "So what? You're going to buy her extra coconuts? Get her a palm tree of her very own?"

"You don't get it." Fang sighed. "Having a daughter and a son should be different. I should feel pride about my son; I should want to protect my daughter. I don't like getting those mixed up."

"It's not the fifties, Fang."

"I don't care. If I have a daughter, she's going to be a girl. And if I have a son, he's going to be a boy. A man."

"What's the supposed to mean?"

Fang shrugged. "Take it to mean what you want it to mean."

"You're so freaking annoying sometimes."

"And?"

"Let's just get back to names, huh?"

"I told you. I want to name my son Falcon and name my daughter…um…Karen."

"Karen," I said dryly. "If we have more kids, all the boys will have cool names, but the girl will have a name like Karen."

"What's wrong with the name Karen?"

"Nothing's wrong with that name. It's just a name though. Falcon is, like, a stupid name that people give their kids when they're trying to hard to be trendy."

"But we won't do it to be trendy. We'll do it because we have freaking wings and our boy will have wings."

"It's a stupid name."

"And Jameson's not?"

Groaning, I shut my eyes. "Let's play a game."

"Okay, Jigsaw."

"No, I'm serious. I say a letter then you say a letter until we've spelled out a name."

"That's dumb."

"If it doesn't work, we'll do something else. Maybe let others vote. And if worse comes to worse, I win."

"What?"

"I am the mother."

"You-"

"L."

Fang frowned. "O."

"…T."

"…E."

"…S."

"Great. Our kid's name is Lotes."

We were both silent after that, just laying there next to each other.

"Is Lotes a girl name or a boy name?"

"Shut up, Fang."

He kissed my neck. "Maybe we should just let the baby pick it's name. Just call it an it until it can talk. Let it choose."

"Try no."

Fang groaned. "What if I pick the name for the boy and you pick the name for a girl?"

"You can't choose Falcon."

"You can't tell me what to do."

"That's a stupid name. Why would you stick our son with a stupid name?"

"Jameson-"

"Would you stop bringing that up already?"

Again, calm settled over our little hut. I was listening hard now, trying to see if I could hear the Flock next door in their hut. Angel and Gasman had been staying up too late. If I heard them, I would go over there and make them go to bed. Part of the problem, I think, is that they're all to old to share a sleeping quarters. Still, until they just went ahead and built their own huts, they had nowhere else to go.

"What if you pick the first name? Huh? And I pick the middle name?" Fang stroked my stomach. "Jameson Falcon Ride."

"Ride?"

"I don't gotta last name. You know that."

"You need one for when we go back to Europe."

Fang had promised me when we went to Europe again, we'd get married. They still had some pretty functioning governments there. We could get a marriage license and everything so that we didn't just call each other husband and wife, but actually be that.

"I'll just say it's Ride. I can't let you change your name."

"I said nothing about changing my name anyways."

My cheek got a kiss this time. "So for a girl, what name do you want?"

"Uh…Russell."

"Did you miss the part where I said for a girl?"

"I want her to have a cool name too."

"Max, there's boy names that work for girls and then there's ones that don't. That one doesn't work."

"I think it does."

"Russell Karen Ride."

"RKR."

He started stroking my stomach. "I think that's a dumb name."

"What?"

"Yeah. If a girl can be named Russell, then she can be named Falcon."

"Fang-"

"She'll be my baby," he pointed out. "Besides, what if you don't make it out of labor?"

"What?"

"Then I'll have to raise her all alone. You know, before I shack up with some other chick."

"You-"

"So I just think that I should be able to name her what I want. Or him. Since there's a good chance that you won't even be around."

"Shut up."

I got another kiss to the cheek. "I have thought about it, you know. Have you?"

"About what?" I asked him.

"About if you don't make it."

"Oh, Fang-"

"Things are rough out here on the island. I just want my wife and daughter to make it out alive."

"Daughter?"

"Or son." He shook his head slightly. "I couldn't live if you…"

"Mom will take care of it. And the other scientists. I'll be fine."

"I just worry."

"You worry enough to let me pick the name?"

Fang let out a long sigh. "As long as it's not Jameson or Russell."

"Right." I smiled, knowing I won. "So James for a son and Russ for a daughter."

"Max-"

"James is not Jameson. Russ is not Russell."

"I hate you sometimes."

"Zeke."

"Hmmm?"

"I like the name Zeke," I told him. "For a boy. Zeke."

"And Karen for a girl?"

"If we have to."

"We do."

"…Zeke Jameson Ride."

"Don't make me smother you," Fang jokingly warned.

"Bring it."

* * *

**I have got to start a new story. I just need an idea. I keep sitting down to write and all I get are these oneshots. It's starting to get annoying...**


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